Entry July 30, 2025

Dear Diary,

Today started like any other day: full of dreams, poor choices, and the irresistible scent of oatmeal milk & honey.

I was on my best behavior.

(For like… 7 minutes.)

Then I saw it...

A fresh, warm, 6-cavity silicone soap mold.. Purple. Inviting. Slightly steamy.

And I thought:

“What if… I climbed in?”

 

Reader, I climbed in.

What I Learned While Trapped in a Soap Mold:

1. Soap batter is hotter than expected.

2. You will get bubbles in awkward places.

3. Nobody responds to “Help, I’ve become the soap” as quickly as you'd hope.

I4. t is very difficult to maintain dignity when you smell like goat milk and regret.

Eventually Joyce found me.

She did not say, “Oh no, my sweet baby Melinda, are you okay?”

She yelled—and I quote—

 “AGAIN?!”

 

Rude.

 

To make matters worse, the soap hardened around my left foot.

I am now the proud owner of a Melinda-shaped soap bar with a footprint in it. We’re calling it “Limited Edition: Purple-Monkey Print.”

Anyway, I’m grounded.

Again.

But I regret nothing.

It was squishy. It was warm. It was home.

 

Sincerely,

🛀 Melinda

CEO of Sticking Myself Where I Don’t Belong™

P.S. Tomorrow I’m trying to climb into a bath salts drum. What could go wrong?